Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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