Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
