I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
