just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
