Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
