the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I want her autograph on my taint
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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