We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
