shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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