Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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