New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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