I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
