listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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