Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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