I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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