its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
