Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
