U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
