I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
