You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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