Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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