I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
