So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
