im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
