FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
