help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
