I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
