he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
