I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
