R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
