i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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