so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
