what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
