Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
