I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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