if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You dont lie about slip and slides
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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