Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
