Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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