it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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