btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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