Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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