Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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