What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
