My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
