I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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