I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
