It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
