I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
