She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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