im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
