Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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