Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When did angry sex become our thing?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
